Online Guide for First Generation College Students

At the time that I entered college, I cannot remember any programs that offered support for first-gen students. If they were there, not once did anyone make mention. The resources that I took advantage of were geared towards the first-year experience, mostly addressing academic support and homesickness. Utilizing the resources available, the focus was to ensure my academic success, which was important but only a small fraction of what I needed. I remember visiting the Academic Support and Enrichment office and explaining that I had a very difficult time with the in-class writing exams due to what I perceived was a language barrier. I explained that it took me longer to understand the question and write the exam within the time frame offered. In response, a letter was sent to my professors which allowed them to extend my writing time by 30 minutes. While this was helpful, in retrospect, I realize that I was not experiencing a language barrier—it was impostor syndrome. Deeper than my fear of knowing significantly less than everyone in the room, was the fear that I would fail my parents and not succeed in college. I carried anticipatory guilt up until commencement because I wondered about their disappointment if I were unable to complete my degree.

When I first arrived on-campus, I knew that I was the first in my family to attend college but I did not know that there was a term and general understanding behind being “first-generation.” If not for the support of the Posse Foundation, which provided a community of support to help me through the issues faced by minority students in predominantly white institutions, I probably would not have succeeded. In what I have been able to observe, most institutions are still struggling to understand that there is much diversity involved in being a first-generation college student and greater focus on the impact of social location, cultural awareness, family life, and much more is needed. I wish I knew that even the best resources I received on-campus were ill-equipped to provide wholistic care. Most of the resources focused on academic success, which makes sense, but in the absence of addressing the social and emotional, it only kept me within the source of stress. I also wish I had known that lack of representation in the leadership team directly affected my ability to disclose the extent of my fears. Not seeing leaders who looked like me, further confirmed my own ability to succeed. I was void of role models on-campus.

Claim first-gen as a marker of identity, don’t let it shatter your confidence in the application process; it’s your gift. Make time to intentionally consider the environment you wish to be immersed in and let that speak to which campus you may wish to apply. Feeling integrated in the community is vital for your overall well-being and success. Do not ignore the stress and anxiety around the application process. This is just as exciting as it is terrifying because, you know, the possibility of rejection. It could be very lonely because your family doesn’t know how to walk you through it and you feel pressured to figure it out on your own but do not isolate. Do not feel ashamed to ask for help. You’ve not done this before and it is allowed to feel frantic and lost. Therefore, reach out! Reach out! Reach out! I can’t stress this enough. Connect with anyone in your immediate circle and share your questions and concerns. Most people are excited to support and sometimes connect you with their networks.

Do the work as early as you can to search and apply for as many scholarships and funding possible. Most of these deadlines happen well before your first semester so visit with your counselor as much as possible and don’t limit your network to the resources in your high school. For example, consider Google searches for scholarships that target your demographic (i.e., strengths, social location, merit-based, financial-need, etc.). Speak with community members and those who have gone through this process, they will also have resources to share. Outside of scholarships, look into on-campus jobs that may best fit with your academic schedule. On-campus summer jobs and a position as resident assistant financed a significant portion of my room and board fees. Lastly, mentally prepare for accumulating student debt—it’s an unfortunate reality but don’t assume you can’t be proactive about payback plans. Student loans and finances are not easy to navigate. Don’t email your questions, establish rapport and visit Student Financial Aid officers as often as you need. Early attention to budgeting plans and understanding loans helps reduce stress around the issues. Plan ahead and hustle wisely!

One way to understand “first-gen student guilt” is through the lens of grief. Being the first in your family to access a higher degree of education inevitably causes a socio-cultural degree of separation from those you love. There is unspoken grief that goes with this familial loss. One reason this happens is that the academy exposes us to topics and issues requiring us to critically think, analyze, and respond in ways we never had. In my experience, my family and I rarely look at any issue from the same angle anymore. Though we hold very similar values, we work with different assumptions because our sources of interpretation have changed. For me, this happened unknowingly and slowly overtime. With every academic course, I came across literature and conversations that deeply impacted my worldview and understanding of self. Due to physical distance, a shift in language, and the nearly impossible challenge to communicate every detailed change, I grew apart from my family.

This is perhaps the most important reality to prepare for; it is going to happen and there is no going back. But it is not a bad thing. If I could do it all over again, I would do two things differently. Step 1, I would not have been afraid to share with family when my perspective about particular issues had broadened. Even if conversations were uncomfortable, I would’ve overcome my fear by remembering that their response/reaction was not mine to hold. My responsibility was to share for the sake of communication in the relationship. Step 2, do not attempt Step 1 unless there’s regularly scheduled visits with a mental health counselor and/or trusted mentor on-campus. It is important to have a third-party that is experienced and professionally trained to help navigate the changes within yourself and with your family. A lot of changes are happening drastically and all at once. It is important for someone outside of family to hold space for us to vent and process without worrying about hurting our loved one’s feelings. The only way to get through the guilt/grief is to begin with a space to name it. Counseling sessions are geared towards this.